An old lover from high school came for a quick visit a few weeks ago. He was acting quite strange during our lunch. It wasn't until a chat on facebook with him that made me realize he is very scared of being gay.
He's spent the last 12 years of his life being straight and seeing me again stirred up old feelings. Feelings that should have been dealt with years ago. Instead, those feelings have been repressed for so long that now he's started to doubt himself and has lost some of his confidence.
During our chat, he mentioned numerous times that being straight has many benefits. He sees how gay people are excluded on certain levels, how it's an uphill battle, how it's not always easy. All that's true.
What he doesn't realize is that lying to yourself, is excluding a part of yourself. Repressing a desire is not the answer. It will only cause fear and anxiety. I'm not advocating immorality here, but every desire we have must be fulfilled or resolved in some other positive way.
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