Well, the job ended. Some things are in the works, but nothing like what it was last month. I've spent the last 2 weeks pretty much on the couch. Until yesterday, I was getting off the couch enough to do the household chores. I just sit and vegetate. I have no desire to go out into the world anymore. It's like I feel disconnected from everyone and everything.
Today, an old lover and I had lunch. After almost a decade, we both felt the fire, but nothing came of it. I came home and laid on the couch for a good 3 hours thinking. In the past, I was always the initiator. Today, like every day for months, I just didn't have the spunk. The old me would have been all over that. A great time would be had by all.
Instead, I choose to sit at home alone. Not having a great time. Hear that damn Cymbalta music constantly in my head! Feeling guilty about the failed day. Knowing I could have owned today. Same day like every other day for months.
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