I realized something today while I was slacking off: I am angry with myself. I've been a slacker for a long time. I know where it has gotten me: nowhere! I also know where it will take me: nowhere!
Those 4 thoughts in conjunction lit a fire under my butt. That motivation has lasted. I've been at it for almost 3 hours, with plenty of breaks, and I'm almost done for Friday. I still feel the motivation to finish these final 5 tasks before 5:30a.
This anger with oneself is a double-edged sword though. I once heard that depression is anger with oneself, and I believe it. I went for a visit there today before I deflected the fire of anger to my tasks.
I accomplished this, or maybe my subconscious did it, with by combine those 4 thoughts. Becoming the opposite of the trait I didn't like.
Perhaps it's some sort of defense mechanism kicking in. In the past, when depression struck, I had suicidal thoughts. I could never do it. The mere thought of my cat's stress level after my death would stop me, not to mention any family.
For what ever reason, I'm liking the results, so I guess I'm doing the brain training to continue doing that! I like it!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment