Friends

Tonight, I'm sitting at home drinking and binge watching a show all alone while a group of friends is out celebrating a birthday. I'd much rather be sitting here by myself than out at a smoke filled bar having to make small talk with people I barely know anymore. Being an introvert is in my core nature and is expressed in almost every facet of my life.

Being 35 and feeling a bit stalled in my career, I've started to shift my perspective when it comes to friends and being social in general. I'm behind because I'm quiet. Sure I can perform those complex technical tasks that others making 2-5 times more money can't. The difference in pay is directly proportional to social skills.

Having always been quiet, and having never really gone through the "why phase" or the "terrible two's", my social skills aren't on par with others my age. The closest to the terrible two's was driving the car, but I was only 15 months old. (Complete pulling the keys out of my Mom's purse to cranking the car to steering) My Dad loves to remind me of this every opportunity he gets!

So, back to my topic: Friends. I have a good number of what I would call acquaintances, but as far as friends go, I have none. No one is close enough to me to know what's going on. Not even my parents or fiancee. That's kinda sad, isn't it?